Not Enough Anymore
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: Harm/Jen SUMMARY: it's not enough for her anymore, she wants more now. They've come just too far to go anywhere else with this.


TITLE: Not Enough Anymore

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

PAIRING: Harm/Jen

TIMELINE: beginning of year 2004, some elements AU - you'll see which

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: this one was started a long time ago when I was doing research for "One Normal Evening" and found the statistics mentioned in this fic. A writer's block prevented me from coming up with a good ending so it was left to sit for months.

SUMMARY: it's not enough for her anymore, she wants more now. They've just come too far.

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They were laying in bed after a hot lovemaking session, both still sweaty and shivering from aftershocks of their orgasms.

He was just about to nod off when her quiet voice broke the silence. "Did you know that 65 percent of pregnancies in the US are unplanned?"

Raising his head he looked down to where she was with her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat and drawing lazy designs in the curls there.

"And 53 percent of those unplanned pregnancies happen to women who are on some kind of birth control."

It sounded like an idle comment, but Harm knew there was a deeper meaning to this.

Which was revealed soon enough. "Do you ever think of the fact that the purpose of this wonderful and pleasurable act is only procreation of the species, to get the female pregnant to insure the survival of the line? Everytime we make love we risk me getting pregnant, even with the pill. Everytime you cum inside me there's a chance one of your little swimmers will find my egg, break through the wall and fertilize it, making a new life for us to raise."

"What brought this on?" he asked as he ran a tender hand over her slim back and then settled it on her firm hip. She was infinitely grateful he wasn't dismissing her musings, but giving it his full attention, for now she knew it was time to come out with something that had been on her mind for a long time. Something in which he'd have the main role.

She rose from her perch on his chest and looked at him with wide, serious eyes. "I want a child, Harm."

To her pleasure he didn't flinch, nor looked abhorred by the idea. His only response was a raised eyebrow, asking for more insight.

"I've been thinking about this for a while now." she explained. "I knew when I seduced you in Afghanistan that we couldn't have more than an occasional romp without making some big changes with our jobs and at that time I was perfectly happy even with that. I've wanted you since that first Christmas and if the only way I could have you was for you to occasionally have sex with me, then I was satisfied with that. But now I want more."

She paused, gathering her thoughts, while Harm just waited, rubbing her back encouragingly.

"You know I love you." he nodded at her statement. He'd always known. Otherwise she wouldn't have started what she had in Afghanistan. She hadn't said it, but just like he, she was a person who showed her feelings through her actions. And her actions during the last couple of years couldn't have been clearer. "I wouldn't be doing this with you if I didn't. And we've been in a relationship for 2 years now. I'm just a couple of months away from 30 and you're 40. I know you want kids yourself, it's been plainly obvious for a while now. And we have to face the fact that even if she doesn't return to her father Mattie will be leaving in less than 3 years. Either for College or for Annapolis. This desire for a family has only been growing in me since I've known you. Ever since we've become involved in your stateroom aboard the Seahawk I've only wished to have YOUR kids, no-one else's. Our first time was a spur-of-the-moment thing for me and something you don't know is that I was unprotected then." the memories of that first, desperate coupling washed over them both. It had been wild and completely uplanned and neither had known they'd do it even a minute before it had happened, but what had happened to Bud and what had nearly happened to Harm had broken them and that was the only way they knew to fix each other "I've never been in a relationship before, thanks to Daddy Reverend, and wasn't sexually active so I didn't think I needed it."

She paused to take a breath and moisten her dry lips. Harm used the opportunity to give her a rakish grin and squeezed her breast, making her shiver. Then his grin turned guilty. "I remember that. I'm sorry I hurt you, I just didn't expect such a beautiful and amazing young woman to still be a virgin. But I guess I should've known with who your father was. I'm sorry, had I known I would've been gentler."

She knew he was telling the truth and she rewarded his sweet words with a kiss. Even though she had a right to with-hold him that pleasure for having interrupted her. When her brain turned from the mushy puddle back into it's old form she continued.

"I didn't remember until a few days later that I wasn't on the pill and we hadn't used condoms. When I got my period I was surprised by my lack of relief, I actually felt sad and disappointed. That's when I knew my feelings for you ran deeper than even I knew and I knew then that I could never let you go, even if it meant that for the time being I couldn't have more than an occasional night of lovemaking. When you resigned from JAG I thought our time had come, but the CIA was sending you out so much there just wasn't any chance to take advantage of that. And then you were back in the Navy again..."

"And there was no way of it happening." Harm finished her sentence in a whisper. "And now?"

Jen looked deep into his eyes. "Now you and a life with you, a life without hiding, without sneaking around, without stealing kisses when no-one is looking, a life when we don't have to be worried of going out together in case anyone sees us, are more important to me than my job. It's crunch time, we've come too far, I've come too far and it's time to decide what's more important to me, my career or you, us. It was an easy decision, really, there was just no thinking needed. You will always come first."

Harm's heart overflowed with love. How long had he wanted to be with a woman to whom he meant everything, who would always put him before everything, before other men and before her job. He'd never had that, so he hadn't put them first either. Why sacrifice his career when it was only one-sided? "What are we going to do about the Navy?"

"If you want what I want then I'll be tendering my resignation to the Admiral tomorrow. I have it written, dated and signed already, I just wanted to talk to you first. I'd never do something as big as this without talking about it to you first."

Harm was speechless for a few minutes, until he finally asked one important question. "Are you sure?"

Jen knew what he was asking. Are you sure about resigning? Are you sure about kids? Are you sure about _me?_

Silly man, just because Mac liked to play games with him and screw around, it didn't mean that all women were like that. It didn't mean Jen was like that.

"Yes." she whispered "About everything."

Harm nodded, his face serious "Then I've got only one thing left to say." Jen was starting to get afraid at his solemn expression "Will you marry me?"

She didn't have to think it over for a year, wouldn't wear his ring on her right hand while stringing another man along and trying to force him, con him into revealing his feelings for her. Jen was the right kind of woman, the faithful kind, the kind that is with a man only if she's in love with him and not for sex or as a head game with another man. There was only one answer she could give him, only one answer she could ever give him "Of course."

And they lived happily ever after.

Even happier when Jen announced 5 months later that she was pregnant.

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